


Someone Who Isn't Alone

by bilgegungoren00



Series: A Boy from Daxam and a Girl from Krypton (KaraMel) [24]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Black Mercy, F/M, KaraMel, Love, fantasy life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:14:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bilgegungoren00/pseuds/bilgegungoren00
Summary: When Black Mercy attacks Mon-El and put him under its hallucinations, only Kara can save him.





	1. fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Guess what? It's 2 a.m. in Turkey right now, and I literally stayed up to finish this fanfiction, because I had all the ideas in my mind and I didn't want to stop. Sooooooo yeah, if I die tomorrow it'll totally be my fault (no regrets, though). Anyway, this was a request on Tumblr, which I thoroughly enjoyed writing (because it was such a good idea haha) so I hope you like it as well! By the way, if you have any requests, please let me know in comments! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Kara just _knew_ something was wrong with Mon-El when he didn’t answer her calls. Yes, he hadn’t been on earth for more than a few months, and he barely got the hang of the customs here—including smart phones—yet he _knew_ how to answer a call. And the fact that the phone actually rang suggested he hadn’t just forgotten to charge it or accidentally shut it down.

It was after the fifth call that she’d decided to go to the alien bar to see if he was there. It might just have been his job keeping him from answering. When that also yielded to nothing, she became extremely nervous, letting DEO know that Mon-El was missing. Fortunately, he was found. Unfortunately, by the time they found him…

He’d already been attacked by the same creature that attacked Kara a year ago and almost claimed her life. The _Black Mercy_.

Now he was lying in front of her on a hospital cot with that…that _thing_ clutched to his chest. When Kara saw him sprawled on the ground on some back alley, with Black Mercy on him, her heart stopped. She couldn’t believe her eyes. More like _didn’t want to_ believe her eyes. She remembered oh so well what she felt like when the creature attacked her, she wouldn’t wish it upon anyone else.

It didn’t take a genius to guess what Mon-El was seeing. _It must be Daxam_ , Kara thought. If she’d seen Krypton after all the years of not being on the planet, then Mon-El would surely dream of Daxam, being on Earth for only months.

That wasn’t the worst part, though. Alex had been able to save Kara from Black Mercy, yet it was only because Kara saw Alex as a family as much as she saw her birth parents. She’d also been on earth way longer than Mon-El; she’d built a life here. Mon-El had none of that. If he was dreaming about Daxam, and he believed in the hallucination, Kara doubted there would be anyone or anything that could sway him.

It hurt more than she thought it would.

Nibbling with her bottom lip, she crossed her arms, trying to get rid of the knot in her throat. She knew Alex and the rest of her friends would enter the room soon with the device they used to save Kara the last time. They would choose someone to enter Mon-El’s mind and try to get him back on earth.

Kara wasn’t that hopeful. Nobody could hope to overcome Mon-El’s dream, not even her. No matter how close they’d gotten during his time on earth, and…and no matter what she might be feeling for him, it didn’t matter. His feelings would always be stronger for his planet, for his _parents_.

Kara had felt this kind of dread before, but on those instances she always knew she had superpowers, that she could help her friends easily. When she heard Alex’s plane was crashing, she was scared as hell, yet she knew there was a chance she would be able to fly up there and stop the plane.

Right now, her superpowers would be as helpful to her as, say, having caramel colored hair would. It wouldn’t help her when she entered Mon-El’s consciousness. And she _knew_ she’d be the one to do it. She had the best chance out of everyone.

Even thought that chance was one in a hundred.

Kara slipped away from her thoughts when she heard footsteps approaching the room. It was her sister, with J’onn and Winn following her. Alex had the device in her hands.

“We got it,” she announced, standing beside Kara. She was trying to look hopeful and smile it off, yet anxiety in Kara’s eyes reflected off Alex’s as well. Kara could only shake her head as she turned to Mon-El, uncrossing her arms.

“Good. We need to get this done as soon as possible.” _Hopefully before he starts to believe his fantasy_. “I’ll do it.” All the eyes in the room turned to her, yet none of them showed surprise. They probably expected it to be her.

None of them was happy about the notion, though. Alex looked desperate as she clutched the device in her hand. She knew, they all knew Kara was Mon-El’s best chance.

“You don’t have to do this,” Alex still said. “Any of us can go in there and—“

“And do what?” Kara interrupted. “Tell him that the life he has here is much better than the fantasy? That he has to wake up because none of it is real when it is the life that he _wants_?” Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. “He’s only been on earth for a couple of months.” She didn’t need to put it in words how impossible their job would be. Everyone understood.

“Yeah, but he has you,” Winn said, stepping next to Kara. “That should count as something.” The Kryptonian could only snort.

“Yeah, against all his other friends?” Kara snapped back, immediately regretting her harsh tone. “I just don’t know how I can compete with all of them.”

“You will,” Alex reassured her. “Just remind him how much you care about him.” Her voice was too quiet that Kara was sure she was the only one in the room that heard it. When she looked up at her sister, the expression on the agent’s face made her think Alex wasn’t talking about only friendship. It was obvious she believed there was something more between the Kryptonian and the Daxamite.

Kara nodded, even though she wasn’t sure about Mon-El’s feelings. Her feelings, though… She was pretty sure of them.

She was hoping it would be enough for Mon-El.

She lied down on the cot after Alex’s words, her eyes never leaving Mon-El’s figure. There was no way to track her bodily functions because of her near-invincible skin, yet Kara was sure the hallucination wouldn’t kill her. It might kill Mon-El, though.

Winn put the helmet-like device over her head, working on the attachment of the cables and all. It was Alex that caught her attention again, though, by touching her arm. There was fear in her eyes, and pain, but in the deep dark there was also a flicker of hope and belief. “Go save Mon-El,” she whispered to her sister. “And then come back.”

Before Kara could answer, her vision was already blurring, and she fell into a deep, dark hole.

She found herself waking up on a soft surface. She blinked her eyes open, feeling the cotton underneath her. Her fingers trailed on the blanket as she straightened up, realizing the blanket was a deep blue, just like her suit.

That was when she realized she wasn’t wearing her suit. Instead, she was in her favorite PJs, the one that had pink unicorns with rainbow colored hair. She frowned. Among every piece of clothing she could’ve been in, those were the ones? Why? _Well, Mon-El said he liked them_ , she thought. _If this really is a figment of his imagination, I’m glad he isn’t thinking me in_ lingerie.

Standing up, she looked around the room. It was a simple one with just a bed in the middle, a counter next to it along with a cabinet. There were also a bunch of boxes on the corner, probably waiting to be opened. She frowned. It didn’t really make sense.

She didn’t have time to ponder on the sensibility of any of it, though. She needed to find Mon-El as fast as possible, before he completely forgot about his old life, and bring him back. She could hear voices from downstairs.

As she descended down the stairs, looking at the golden colored walls on both sides, she couldn’t help thinking about Krypton. Being sister planets, most things on Krypton and Daxam were similar—to both planets’ dismay—in many things. That included structure, apparently. The futuristic walls interrupted by windows here and there, the circular staircase with silver steps that looked like they were floating, it all reminded her of Krypton. But there was also a hint of earth in it too, from the lining of windows to the railing (there were never railings on Krypton) that showed her no, this wasn’t 100% Daxam.

 _Maybe he didn’t forget entirely. Maybe there’s a part of him that remembers_. She felt a bit more hopeful as the stairs ended, revealing a huge living room. She stepped in tentatively, and her steps halted the moment she gazed inside.

 _No. This is impossible_. There must’ve been something wrong with her eyes, because what she was looking at couldn’t be true. The room… She couldn’t even call it a mix of Daxam and Krypton with a little bit of Earth in it, because it was…

She was staring at _her_ living room. The living room of her house. Granted, it was a few square feet bigger than hers, yet it was designed just like hers. In front of her was the white carpet with the white coffee table on it. The coffee table was surrounded by two armchairs and of course her grey couch, along with her green and white pillows. There was a red blanket sprawled on the arm of the couch as if it had just been thrown there. The television stood just next to the carpet.

Next to the couch was the table with the flowers on it. She stepped forward, almost fearfully, and turned to her left. And there was the kitchen. There was the table in the middle of the room with the chairs around it, there was the counter and the oven and the stove, there was her bluish green refrigerator and the cupboards lining the wall above. There was only one difference between her living room and this room in Mon-El’s hallucination.

A shirtless Mon-El and another guy with blond hair was in front of the stove with Mon-El cooking something that looked like… _pancakes_?

That could not be happening. No pancakes existed on Daxam, nor an open kitchen, her favorite blanket, and the sunflowers that stood atop the kitchen counter.

She was so shocked and caught off guard that she didn’t see it when Mon-El and his companion noticed her. Yet when their eyes met, Kara’s heart started pounding. Okay, maybe this was her living room, but there was no way Mon-El would recognize her. She’d just opened her mouth and attempted to lift her hands when a grin spread on Mon-El’s face.

“Kara! And here I was wondering when you’d wake up.” He flipped a pancake on top of the pancake stack that was already on the plate before turning off the stove. Kara could only blink.

“Wait, you recognize me?” she couldn’t help asking as Mon-El made his way to her. This time, it was Mon-El’s turn to be surprised.

“Of course I recognize you. What kind of a question is that?” He reached forward and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. Just like… Just like a boyfriend would do.

Kara couldn’t even move as Mon-El looked down at her eyes, only staring up at him. Her heart was pounding fast enough that she feared it might burst, and her brain was on an alarmed more. She didn’t understand anything. A part of her knew she needed to pull away, they weren’t dating after all, but she was too shocked to even hear that part. “By the way, did I tell you how cute you looked in those PJs?”

 _Yes_ , she could only think. _You told me that_. No words left her mouth, though. No words could anyway, because in a second Mon-El’s lips were on hers, giving her a small, soft kiss. She gasped, being torn between leaning toward him and pulling away.

In the end, she did the latter, putting her hand on his chest. A part of her scolded her for not savoring the moment and wanted to snuggle up to Mon-El again, yet that part was overtook by her sensible side.

“Mon-El, what are you doing?” she hissed as she realized her hand was resting on his _bare_ chest. She quickly pulled it away.

“Kissing my girlfriend,” the Daxamite answered slowly, his brows furrowing with confusion. “Kara, are you sure you’re okay?”

Kara wasn’t sure of anything as she gaped at the alien in front of her. _My girlfriend_. That was what he’d said, right? She hadn’t heard it wrong, or was imagining it. This was really happening. She suddenly felt the urge to pinch herself, yet managed to control her hands. Still, the stupid part of her couldn’t seem to forget that in Mon-El’s fantasy world, she was his girlfriend.

This was so not what she expected to find when she came here. She thought she’d have to fight her way through to Mon-El, protected by a bunch of guards, and somehow manage to convince him this wasn’t real in a matter of seconds before she was arrested. Yet here she was, in the arms of the said man, _kissing_ and _hugging_. She had no words.

“She’s just excited, Mon-El,” the blond-haired guy said, interrupting Kara’s thoughts. There was a smile on his face as he sipped something that irritatingly looked like coffee. “Let the girl breathe. Today is your mating day, after all.” He sipped his coffee, his smile turning into a grin.

If Kara was the one drinking it, she’d have choked on the coffee with those words as Mon-El led her to the kitchen counter. “ _Mating_?” she said incredulously, her eyes wide. “We’re…mating?”

“The best decision my father made, truly. That Daxamite girl was utterly boring.” Mon-El grunted with the guy’s words.

“I thought we agreed on not mentioning her, right? It’s all over now.” Mon-El smiled at Kara, nudging her with his elbow. “Now I have Kara. And after tonight, our planets will finally be at peace—at least as long as we’re alive—and we can enjoy ourselves. Hopefully.” His smile reached his eyes. Kara couldn’t find anything to say as she tried to put everything that was happening in place together. She shook her head.

“Are you… Are you really sure?” she found herself asking. Mon-El shrugged.

“Of course I am. The prince of Daxam and the ‘ _princess’_ of Krypton. As long as we’re married, no one on both our planets would dare go to war. Trust me, Kara.” She froze again, looking at both guys. The pieces came together more easily than she wanted them to be, but it didn’t take a genius to guess what was happening. She turned to the blond haired guy.

“You’re the prince,” she gasped. The man smirked.

“Lar Gand, at your service.” She then turned to Mon-El, her heart hammering. Pain twisted her stomach, and betrayal as well.

“And you’re not his bodyguard. You’re his younger brother.” She couldn’t hide the hurt. Mon-El had lied to her, all this time. Why did he do that? How could he do that?

 _About Daxam… There’s something I have to tell you_. That was what he’d told her when they both were captured in Cadmus. She just hadn’t thought it was something of this importance. But now…

“Of course I am. Why do you pretend like you didn’t know that?” _Because I didn’t_ , she couldn’t help thinking. _Because this is a fantasy your mind created for you, and somehow I’m in it as your girlfriend. This is not real_.

“Lar Gand, right?” she asked, turning to the prince. Her voice sounded hoarse with the knot in her throat. “Can we please have the room?” Lar Gand stared at Kara, and then Mon-El, and then looked back at Kara.

“Sure, yeah,” he said finally. “But don’t be late, or else Father will kill us. Okay?” He flashed a smile that was so obviously forced at the couple before leaving. That was when Kara turned to Mon-El, only to see him watching her.

“Kara, what’s going on? Are you sick?” Anxiety was dripping from his voice as he grabbed Kara’s hands. Kara wriggled out of his grip.

“You never told me you were the prince.” The words left her mouth without her intention. She didn’t even know where they came from, not at first. _The pain of betrayal. That’s where it is_.

“What? Kara, you knew I was the prince when we first met.” He turned his eyes away. “I know I haven’t been a good one back in the day, but you changed me. And…and you accepted me.” He almost sounded desperate, _afraid_. Afraid that it was all a lie.

 _Well, isn’t it?_ As soon as the thought crossed her mind, though, she knew she was wrong. It wasn’t _all_ a lie. Mon-El obviously felt guilty of how he’d been on Daxam, and this was what it was. And wasn’t she the one that told him the prince was horrible? It was understandable, to say the least, why he might hide that bit of information from her.

It wasn’t what was important right now, anyway. She needed to save Mon-El first. Everything came later.

“No, you didn’t, Mon-El. Not in reality, at least,” she started tentatively, watching Mon-El’s expression. He lifted his brows.

“What do you mean _in reality_?” Kara took a deep breath.

“Do you know about the Black Mercy? You know, the creature that causes hallucinations in the victim while it kills them?” Mon-El only nodded. “You’ve been… You’ve been attacked by it. You’re dreaming right now.” The Daxamite stared at her for a couple of seconds, and then laughed.

“You’re kidding me, right?” he asked. “I’m dreaming all of this? That I somehow made all of it up? That’s hilarious.”

“It’s the truth,” Kara interrupted before he could continue. “You’re not on Daxam. We’re not on Daxam. The planet… It’s gone, just as Krypton is gone. There’s no one to make peace with. We’re on Earth right now.” Mon-El shook his head.

“Earth? It doesn’t make any sense, Kara.”

“I know it doesn’t, but you have to believe me,” Kara said desperately, stepping forward. She took his hand in hers. “Your pod crashed there a couple of months ago and I found you, remember?”

“No,” Mon-El objected. “We met when your father came here, to sign a peace treaty. We met and…and we fell in love. And somehow, we convinced our parents to have us mated, to seal the treaty permanently. That’s how it happened.” Laughing humorlessly, Kara shook her head.

“I wish that it was like that. I wish all of this was true, Mon-El, truly. Not just for you, but for me too. If Daxam and Krypton isn’t destroyed, it means my parents are still alive, as well as all my friends and whole family. I want it to be true as much as true. It’s the perfect life.” _Even the part that we’re together_. “But it’s not real. Anything is rarely perfect. That doesn’t mean we can’t be happy with what we have, right? I know it doesn’t compare to this, having your brother, your family and your planet, but you also have friends on Earth. Alex, and Winn, and even J’onn are waiting for you to wake up. You have them. And… And you have me.” That made the Daxamite frown.

“I already have you, Kara. We’re together. Don’t you want this?” Kara couldn’t find a good enough answer for that—even though a part of her wanted to say yes—so she changed the subject.

“Do you remember CatCo? I tried to get you to work there, and you hated it. So you made up with the secretary. And Lena’s party, where we danced and you distracted me from my duties as Supergirl?” She had to laugh at that before she continued. “And when you helped me defeat the Parasite, all alone at first, and didn’t run away? That was when I thought you could be a hero. You’re… You’re a hero. You proved that time and time again. You were willing to sacrifice yourself in Cadmus for me, for J’onn. On Slaver’s Moon, you stood up for all those humans and helped me get them to safety. And you’ve been working ever since to help National City, going out with me and risking your life. I cannot tell you how much it means to me.” Tears had filled her eyes by that time. She quickly wiped them away, turning her eyes away. “And you’re more than a hero. You’re my friend.” _More than that. Much more than that._

Thinking it, of course, was easier than saying those words. Still, she gathered up all the courage she could find, lifting her eyes to look at Mon-El. He was watching Kara with wide eyes, not saying anything, not even _moving_. It seemed like he was having a hard time processing anything.

That was good. At least he wasn’t completely dismissing the idea that this was a hallucination.

“And the Medusa virus? You’d… You’d gone into the alien bar to save the aliens in there from it, getting yourself poisoned. You almost died.” _And you kissed me_. “And I know you don’t remember it but… But on your deathbed, you kissed me. On the lips,” Kara added as a second thought, as if she had to clarify that. “I didn’t tell you about it, because I was afraid it was just with dying and all, and you didn’t _like_ me…like me.” _But if this fantasy says anything, I was so wrong about that_. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. But I’m telling you now. Because I want you to see that you haven’t lost everything, that there’re still people that care about you. So don’t give up. Fight this.” _Don’t leave me_. The last thought felt like a desperate plea as she stared deep into Mon-El’s sky blue eyes. They were shining with tears.

“Kara…” he whispered again, his voice cracking in the middle. It was filled with so much pain that somehow, Kara knew that he remembered. The tears she didn’t let go spilled down her eyes, wetting her cheeks. Without a second thought, she threw herself on the Daxamite, flinging her arms around his shoulders.

“You remember,” she whispered. “You remember.” He didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to. Kara knew it.

Mon-El’s hands were shaking as he hugged Kara back, holding onto her t-shirt. “Kara, I’m sorry,” he whispered, as if he talked louder he’d break down. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shh,” Kara shushed him as she pulled back, pressing her finger on his lips. “There’ll be a time to talk about all of it. We need to get out of here now.” Mon-El smiled and nodded. Even as he did that, their surrounding began to blur and break down. Kara held onto Mon-El, not letting him go, afraid that if she did he’d plunge back into the hallucination.

She found herself back on the bed in what felt like a matter of seconds. Blinking her eyes open, she pushed herself up. Alex was right in front of her.

“Kara?” she asked fearfully, grabbing her sister’s hand. “Are you okay? Did he…”

“Yes,” Kara whispered, the corners of her lips tipping up. “Yeah, he remembered.” Swinging her legs down the bed, she stood up immediately and went to Mon-El’s side, grabbing his hand. She didn’t even care how it must’ve looked to the others

It took Mon-El a couple of seconds more to wake up, each of them more excruciating than the last. Despite knowing he remembered, Kara was scared he wouldn’t be able to escape the hallucination. But eventually, Black Mercy let Mon-El go and crawled away, and the Daxamite’s eyes blinked open, staring at the ceiling. Kara leaned forward.

“Mon-El?” she croaked, squeezing his hand. Mon-El’s eyes found her. “Hey. It’s me.”

“Kara.” Mon-El’s voice was hoarse as he straightened up, staring at the wall across the room. He seemed distraught. “The Black Mercy…” he managed to whisper finally.

“It’s gone,” Kara reassured him. “You’re back.” _Thank Rao_. Kara could see the tears in his eyes, and then remembered the blond-haired boy, Lar Gand, from the fantasy. _Mon-El’s brother. He lost him all over again_. Tears knotted her throat.

“I’m sorry about everything,” she said, even though she knew how lame it sounded and how it didn’t fix anything. Mon-El turned to her.

“You’re…apologizing?” he asked, surprised. He had blinked the tears away. “Why?”

“Because the fantasy… It wasn’t real,” she tried to explain. “I’m sorry.” Mon-El shook his head.

“No, Kara, you saved my life.” Flashing him a small smile, Kara nodded.

“Yeah, I did.” Fortunately, after a painful second, the Daxamite returned her smile. “How are you feeling?” she asked to change the subject.

“I’m…fine. A little bit tired, but it’s okay.” He turned his eyes away, looking at his hands. He looked…embarrassed? “Kara, about the fantasy… I—“

Kara stopped him before he could continue, pressing her fingers on his mouth again, just like she did in the fantasy.

“Hey, let’s not talk about that right now. There’ll be plenty of time for it.”

“But—“ Mon-El started to object. This time, Kara shut him up by leaning forward, pressing her lips on his. Immediately, heat spread through her body, filling her with warmth from her lips to the tips of her hair and toes. His mouth tasted just like she remembered, and even better. It felt _good_.

It felt amazing. She questioned, as she kissed him, why exactly she’d waited all this time, hiding the kiss from him. She wanted this. Badly, and apparently Mon-El wanted it as well. It had been just a waste of time.

And yeah, there was the issue with the prince thing, and the relationship they had in the fantasy, but as Kara said, they could talk about them later. Right now they both needed rest…and Kara needed the kiss.

She pulled back after what felt like minutes, opening her eyes to see Mon-El’s shocked expression. He didn’t expect that, not at all, which made Kara smile like a giddy teenager.

“As I said, we can talk about it later.” Mon-El could only nod as Kara stood up. “Now get some rest.”

Those were the last words she said before she left the room, yet the smile plastered on her face stayed with her. It didn’t seem like it would go anywhere.


	2. reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Mon-El talk about everything that happened in Mon-El's black mercy fantasy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo... This is what happens when your brain just doesn't let you rest from all the good Karamel ideas *sigh*. I was thinking about writing a second part for this story, but planning to do it in a couple of weeks (not a couple of days) but I just couldn't stop thinking about it so I decided to write! I hope you like it :)

It was around midnight when Kara and Mon-El finally got the chance to be alone together. After the Black Mercy thing, Kara insisted on Mon-El getting his vitals checked, just to make sure there was no trace of its poison in his system. Not that she thought there was, but she couldn’t risk it. Besides, she really didn’t think she was ready to talk about…everything.

 _I shouldn’t have kissed him_ , she thought for not the first time that night. She was just so elated to have him back from the Black Mercy that she didn’t really think through it. After everything… _everything_ that happened in that fantasy, after seeing what Mon-El wanted… She just couldn’t help herself.

And if she was going to be honest with herself, she really, really liked the kiss. She still could feel Mon-El’s lips on hers, parting slightly in shock with Kara kissing him, tasting just like she remembered. It felt amazing at the time, of course, yet when Kara left Mon-El in the DEO to get herself together, doubt had crept into her mind.

 _What if he didn’t like it?_ It was possible. Maybe after seeing the fantasy, he didn’t want anything to do with Kara.

 _No, that isn’t true_ , the hopeful part of Kara objected. _Mon-El didn’t imagine us being only friends, or he didn’t just want me for sex. He imagined us dating, he imagined us getting_ married _. According to him, we were_ in love _in that fantasy, not merely attracted to each other_. That was the part she’d counted on when she kissed him. She remembered what her fantasy had been when she was under the effects of Black Mercy, and a part of her still wished she had that life. If Mon-El had seen them in love, it meant that he liked her. He didn’t want her just for sex, he wanted to have a _relationship_ with her. She couldn’t take that lightly.

Still, it wasn’t the whole of it. He was also the prince of Daxam. That guy, Lar Gand—his brother—it must’ve been him that he was talking about when he said the prince sacrificed his life for him. But he wasn’t just the prince’s bodyguard, he was Lar Gand’s younger brother. Kara still couldn’t wrap her mind around all of that. Why would Mon-El lie to her?

That was what she was thinking when she heard a knock on her door. She didn’t even have to use her X-ray vision to see who it was. Mon-El.

Her heart skipped a beat as she rushed to the door, swinging it open. She was right, of course. It was Mon-El, dressed in a dark grey sweater over a black t-shirt, and black pants. He sweater stretched over his chest, so much so that Kara wondered if it was a size too small, yet she didn’t really complain as it highlighted his muscles underneath. She flushed when she remembered Mon-El’s bare chest from the fantasy.

“Mon-El,” she almost shrieked as she stepped back, forcing a smile. “Come on in.” Her heart was hammering in her chest as she closed the door behind the Daxamite.

“Is it too late?” Mon-El asked as he turned to her, his hands tucked in his pockets. “It isn’t too late, right? I thought about coming tomorrow, but…” He didn’t really have to continue, the anxiety in his eyes said it all.

“You couldn’t sleep,” Kara finished his words, stepping forward. “I understand.” _I haven’t had any luck with that either_.

“Yeah,” was all Mon-El said as he balled his fists in his pockets, looking at the floor. Kara cleared her throat.

“Um, do you wanna just sit down so that we can…we can talk?” she offered. “I can make some coffee too.”

“You don’t have to,” Mon-El jumped in. “We can just sit and…you know, talk. We need to…talk.” His voice trailed off in the end, making Kara smile slightly at his anxious posture. Shaking her head, she gestured him to walk to the couch. They sat down side by side, Kara with one leg under her and her body slightly angled at Mon-El, and Mon-El with his legs spread and his elbows resting on them. He ran his hand over his face before glancing at Kara.

“Do you know how Black Mercy works?” he asked. Kara nodded, wondering where he was going with this. “So you…you know that I had no control over what I was doing, right? I wasn’t… I wasn’t doing any of that for purpose, or using the Black Mercy as an excuse to…to get what I want. I had no idea—“

“Mon-El, I _know_ ,” Kara interrupted, putting her hand on his knee. The Daxamite seemed surprised by the conviction in her voice at first. He turned to her timidly, his eyes full of guilt and shame. Kara wanted nothing more to erase that look from his face. “I’ve been through a similar thing last year. I know what it’s like, and I know you weren’t using me. You weren’t aware of the reality.” Mon-El’s shoulders sank in relief as he nodded. Still, there wasn’t a proper smile on his face.

“Good, because I don’t want you to think that I’d ever… I’d ever make you do something you don’t want. I wouldn’t do that. Ever.” Kara could only smile and nod, knowing full well the honesty behind his words. Yes, Mon-El might’ve made mistakes before, said the wrong words or did the wrong things in the heat of the moment, yet he’d always tried to make up for his mistakes. Even lying about being the prince of Daxam… He’d tried to atone for everything he did as the prince as well. Kara could remember how lowly he talked about the prince, several times, and if the fantasy showed her anything he wasn’t talking about Lar Gand. He was talking about _himself_.

“I know you’d never do that to me. Despite what you may think of yourself, you’re not a bad person.” Mon-El only snorted as a reply, shaking his head.

“Yeah, well, I’m not so sure about that.” He dropped his chin, staring at his hands. “You saw the fantasy, Kara. Do you think if I’d been a good person, I’d have dreamed about having you? Or I’d try to make _myself_ look good?” Kara shook her head at the ridiculousness of his words.

“Mon-El, the Black Mercy makes us see what we want to be. If you truly wanted to be a bad person, that is the kind of person you’d be in the fantasy. The only reason you imagined yourself being good, bringing peace to Krypton and Daxam, is because you want to be good. Not because you’re self-righteous or anything.” Mon-El didn’t say anything for a long time, making Kara continue. “The guy in the fantasy. Lar Gand, was it? He was your elder brother, right?” she changed the subject. The Daxamite’s face twisted with pain.

“Yeah,” he could only whisper, clasping his hands together. “He was the one that forced me to use the pod. I was trying to save him, but…” Mon-El bit his lip harshly. “He died for me.”

“I am so sorry, Mon-El,” Kara said, not knowing what else she could say. She knew exactly what it felt like to lose a family, to lose _everything_ ; she could never hope for her words to make Mon-El feel better. She could only stay with him and help him through his grief, just as the Danvers once did for her. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, letting him know that she was there for him. “He seemed like a really nice guy.”

“He was,” Mon-El admitted, flashing a sad smile at Kara. It disappeared quickly. “He should’ve been the one in the pod. He deserved to live, not _me_. He could… He could be the hero you want me to be. He could help you.” The Kryptonian shook her head. _You’re already a hero to me, Mon-El. You just need to realize it yourself_.

“Remember when I told you that the prince sacrificed his life for you for a reason?” she asked him, caressing his cheek. “I believed it then, I still believe it now. Your brother didn’t save you just because you were family. He saved you because he saw something worth saving.” Mon-El shook his head.

“Not so sure about that,” he mumbled under his breath. Before Kara could reply, though, he changed the subject. “There’s… There’s something else we need to talk about. About… About us.” With those words, the Kryptonian straightened up, her heart skipping a beat. She was dreading that subject. She didn’t even know _why_ , everything was pretty much out there at this moment. Mon-El’s fantasy proved that his feelings for Kara were serious, and, well, Kara had kissed him when he woke up. Yet there were a lot that needed to be sorted through before they plunged into something.

“We were dating in the…hallucination.” _Fantasy_ , Kara thought, yet somehow she couldn’t say that word. “Not even just…dating. We were gonna get married, right?” Mon-El didn’t say anything, yet his silence was answer enough. Kara swallowed hard, looking at her hands before turning back to Mon-El. The Daxamite wasn’t even looking at her, his eyes were focused on a place on the floor. “Why?”

It took Mon-El a couple of seconds to answer. “Isn’t it obvious?” he said with a humorless laugh, before his face turned serious again. “You know, it took me some time to believe the Black Mercy’s hallucination, and not because I remembered Daxam was gone and my family was dead. It was because we were together.” Kara blinked bewilderedly.

“What are you talking about?” she croaked, her voice shaking with her knotted throat. Mon-El smiled painfully, lifting his eyes to look at her.

“I didn’t believe that you could ever love me. Especially not after… Not after learning I was the prince, and I lied to you all that time. At first, I was sure something was going on, that it was a trick of an alien, yet it seemed so real. _You_ seemed so real, so like yourself, that I chose to believe in it. I wanted to believe in it desperately.” He shook his head. “It seems like I didn’t know you all that well.” His eyes turned back to his hands, one of them still in Kara’s hands. He tried to pull it back, but Kara didn’t let him.

“When the Black Mercy attacked me, I believed Krypton wasn’t destroyed. I believed that my parents were still alive, that my ten plus years on earth was just a dream. It isn’t such a stretch that you’d believe… _that_.”

“But it was,” Mon-El insisted. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head. “I remember kissing you, Kara. When I was dying.” Kara’s mouth dropped open with the shock of Mon-El’s words.

“You remember?” she gasped, her brain not processing the situation. Mon-El nodded.

“The memory is a bit fuzzy, but… I don’t think I could ever forget that. I don’t remember what happened before or after it, though, and… And when you didn’t want to talk about it, I’d assumed you didn’t like it. So yes, it was a stretch for me to think we could be together.” He muttered a curse under his breath. “I’m sorry for everything I did, Kara. Not just… Not just in the hallucination, but ever since I came here. I’m sorry for not telling you I was the prince. I’m sorry for not telling you about the kiss. I’m sorry for…for being a jerk, for being selfish, for hurting people and…you, out of everyone. I’m sorry for hurting you, and not being the kind of person you want me to be.” He took a deep breath, as if struggling with his words, before he continued. “And I’m sorry for falling in love with you when I never got that right.”

Kara felt breathless with the last words, her heart rate doubling. Of course she’d heard him say it, multiple times, in the fantasy, yet this was much, much different than that. In the fantasy, Mon-El was sure that Kara returned his feelings; it was easier to confess something when you know you’d get a positive reaction. Now, though… Even though Kara had kissed him in that hospital bed, Mon-El seemed so unsure about the whole situation, especially her feelings. He was feeling extremely guilty over everything, and it was obvious he was having a hard time believing someone like Kara could ever like someone like him. This confession right now was more heartfelt, and more honest than any of his declarations of love in the fantasy. Mon-El said those words, knowing full well there was a chance Kara wouldn’t say them back. Knowing he could get rejected. It just increased the value of those words, for Kara, ten-fold.

“You’re forgiven, Mon-El,” Kara reassured him, threading her fingers through his. “But for most of those things, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. You couldn’t control being the prince of Daxam and your bringing up. And it’s at least understandable why you might’ve wanted to hide the kiss from me. But most of all, you never have to apologize for your feelings, okay? It might not always be okay to act on them, yet feeling them is normal. It’s not about having rights or not.” Taking a deep breath, she knelt down in front of Mon-El, grasping both of his hands in hers. She lifted her eyes to be facing him completely. “Besides, I’m the only one that gets to decide who has the right to love me, not you. And if the kiss I gave you on that hospital bed wasn’t enough, then let me tell you know. You’re allowed to love me. Okay?” Her heart felt like it would burst out of her chest as she ended her words, and she could hear that the same was true with Mon-El. He was looking at him with a curtain of tears over his eyes, glimmering like there were stars in the blue of them. There was such honesty and love in them that Kara realized it was the first time she was truly seeing Mon-El, in his entirety, without him hiding anything. It was overwhelming to see how he had such intense feelings for her, yet she didn’t mind at all. She liked it, but it was much more than just being loved. It was about being loved _by him_ that made her feel like she was flying. It was even better than that, and Kara rarely liked anything more than flying.

“So you…you’re okay with everything?” Mon-El asked, his voice thick with feelings. Kara laughed, rubbing his knee.

“I’m not a 100% with it, no, but I understand where you’re coming from. Yes, you have a lot of things to work on until you become what you want to be, but it will happen. And I’ll be there for you.” There were no words invented on earth, Krypton, or Daxam, that could properly explain the relief and gratitude Kara saw in Mon-El’s eyes. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers as he lifted his hand to the nape of Kara’s neck, digging it into her hair.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For…for not leaving me.” Kara smiled as she stroked Mon-El’s cheeks, wiping his tears away gently before closing his eyes.

“My pleasure,” she whispered before leaning forward, pressing her lips to the lips of the alien in front of her. And at that moment, as their tears mingled together with their kiss, Kara knew she’d made the right choice by forgiving Mon-El. She truly couldn’t imagine being happier than she was at that moment.

* * *

_“I love you”,_   
_you said,_   
_and I waited for_   
_“but…”_

_but instead came_   
_your arms_   
_and a_   
_“no matter what”._


End file.
